Weeeeell, sort of. It is the outline of what I’d like the rest of my life to be.
I have always said I’m not money oriented. Largely, that holds true, but I am aware that some degree of quiet wealth would afford me some opportunities I’d love to experience and I’d be able to address some financial wrongs others have caused those close to me.
I’d love to have my own humble abode. To be able to deck it out in autism heavenly sensory ways. I’d have a slide into a sunken lounge and beanbags and lovely Moroccan cushions scattered all over the floor. I’d have a Snoezelen set up in said sunken lounge, so I could trip on atmospheric sounds and acidic light projections. Each room would have a squeeze roller I’d have to roll through to enter and I’d have my bed in a foam castle. There would be a golden rope I’d have to climb down to get off my bed.
My bathroom would be a fernery with a giant bath and a duck living in a small bath next to me. My house would have natural lighting with sky lights everywhere. I’d have down lights with dimmer switches.
My kitchen would have a wood oven and easy to clean floor and benches. My fridge would be enormous and my freezer to be walk in. I would have a FULL Italian espresso machine just for my own use. It would be red.
The most important room would be my salon where I’d have my perfumes stored. It would be humidity proof and temperature controlled. There would be crystal bling, mirrors, powder puffs (though I loathe touching powder), a lovely sateen stool for me to sit and a book chair for me to contemplate. The scents would be arranged according to houses and notes. All would be boxed and all having whatever bath products available.
I’d need an extensive library too. No electronics allowed in the library. All furniture must be wood. No food, no drink. (Except my coffee.) I’d have a bay chair in the window to capture the sun on weekends and for my umpteen kitties to bask.
I’d have room to practice my handstands against a wall and I’d have paints and easels all over the place. There’d be a telescope on the roof, automotive tools in my shed and bubbles on every bench – in case I felt like blowing bubbles!
I need to travel, so twice a year visits to where ever I felt would be ideal. Just two weeks away would do; not including the travel time!
People have been cheated of money by my step father. I would love to be able to give them the money they gave him. It made me ill, as a child, to hear of what step father had done. I vowed that if I ever had enough (about $200K) to repay these folk, I would. A cheque from an anonymous donor. Not a word, but karma kissing back.
And I would love to be able to set up scholarshops for autistic women to go to uni or enter a trade. I am a passionate advocate for autistic women to have a meaningful working life, with a decent wage or income stream. Those with children, are single and from a background of abuse rarely thrive financially. It is wrong. I’d love to make life more satisfying for women like us. To wake up loving what they do, doing it with pride and knowing they and their children are safe and secure. I just don’t know how I can make this happen right now.
The idea of a house, a home, to call my own is a pipe dream. I will travel, but it will only be short beach breaks in Asia. I am realistic enough to realise making money isn’t my forté. I wish it were. Not for the greed, but for the opportunities I can share. It is the last part of my dream I want to see come to fruition. No one should be unemployed simply because they see the world with a different lens. We all have something to contribute and too few of us know what we bring that is positive.
So many of us are told daily how we are wrong, stupid, naive, unintelligent, a burden, missing something… but not told what we do right, what we do well and what could make a future for ourselves. It has to start with an autistic business mindset. Sadly, the very thing I lack.
It is free to dream. It is liberating. And it is better than me being in my self imposed quagmire of self pity. At least my mind is moving forward and my soul is demanding action.